Nittney's Creations...here we go!!

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, I wanted to learn to crochet. I was going on a trip to Oklahoma with my parents and decided to teach myself on the way. It was successful and I spent many hours crocheting simple things. I slowly got better, but never would have considered my stuff good enough to sell. After my daughter was born, I took a long hiatus from crocheting. Not on purpose, but you know, life changed.

My best friend, Brittney (yes we have the same name), had recently been bugging me to crochet (and teach her to do a beanie). Now I am pregnant with my second daughter and back to crocheting. I feel like the hiatus somehow made me better. It took me a few stitches, but I got the hang of it again pretty fast. My first project was a scarf for myself and a matching hat. It turned out amazing. I am usually very critical of my own work, but I was impressed. I made hats for Elle and Lorelai and decided they had plenty, so I started making them for friends.

Once I started giving them away, people started telling me I should sell them on etsy. My first reaction was "I couldn't do that". The stuff you see on etsy is cute and "perfect". My stuff is still far from perfect. I didn't have the confidence to think my stuff would even sell on etsy. But, the more I thought about it, the more I am convinced I could help my family out financially by doing something that I love to do: crochet.

I still have some hesitation and fears. I don't want to feel overwhelmed, and I don't want this hobby to become more "work" than "fun". It's relaxing to me and I am afraid if I start doing it as a business, I will lose that enjoyment. But, nonetheless, I am going to take this leap and see where I land.

So, etsy account set up....just have to add items. Will do that during nap time I guess. Gotta get this girl lunch and sleep.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/nittney

For my dad...on his day!

Everyone is blessed by their father. EVERYONE! You wouldn't be here without him.

But, not everyone is blessed to have a Daddy. I have a very special kind.

My Daddy didn't have that "you slipped into my arms and into my heart" kind of moment. I wasn't a perfect sweet little newborn when he met me. He had a different kind of introduction to fatherhood.

Not only did two little girls invade his house, but the oldest (me) was stubborn, smart, and a terror. Not always, but a lot.

But, my dad never lost his temper, never gave up, and constantly loved me. He made sure I knew he was going to love me no matter what, and he never abandoned me. Most 6 year olds don't worry about their father abandoning them (unless of course he has), but I did.

My Daddy is one of the most mild mannered, sensitive, "keep his cool" kind of guy I know. Even when he would discipline us, he never let his anger control him and we could tell it was killing him inside. I don't believe most parents when they say "this hurts me more than you", but for him I think it probably hurt just as much.

Despite the fact that my Daddy is not biological, I've never felt otherwise. In fact, sometimes I really do forget that I'm adopted. I forget that he missed out on the first 6 years of my life and to him I'm really only 19. I forget that I didn't get my blue eyes from him, or my stubborn will. I forget that he didn't get to experience the bonding with a precious newborn, like I did with my daughter.

I am amazed at the love he has shown me despite all of those things he didn't get to experience. He loved me just the same. As if he did bond with me as a newborn and watch me grow. He picked up the pieces of my brokenness and put them back together. He made sure I knew how a man was supposed to care for his family. He made sure that I knew I deserved to be treated better.

My Daddy wasn't perfect, but he was perfect for me. God knew that. I don't think it was God's plan (from the beginning) for my birth parents to destroy their lives' and those of their children, but it was his plan to provide me with Amazing parents when they did.

I am thankful for my heavenly Daddy who has carried me through it all.

I am thankful for my Daddy as well as my Daddy in love. These men have been consistent and have loved me through a lot, and now I get to watch them love and adore my sweet little girl. I get to watch them be Papa's. Definitely a title they both carry well. I am thankful that they are such great examples for my daughter. That she will know how boys and eventually men should treat her.

I am thankful for my husband who has been an amazing daddy, and has grown so much in the past 15 months. This girl of ours has stretched him and blessed him beyond his wildest dreams. Not only will she have a great example in her Papa's, but her Daddy will be the best example of all.

Motherhood x2

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I am going to be a mother to two children. It seems surreal and I sometimes forget that I am pregnant. I blame it partly on my preggo brain and partly on the 1 year old distraction that I call Elizabeth.

Part of me cannot wait for this bundle to arrive, but the other part wants it to be just the 3 of us a little longer. While I have no doubts about being a family of 4, I know I can never go back to only being 3. I will have to give two children a bath, tuck two children into bed, worry about feeding two children, and love two children.

Honestly, I don't know how I could love another child as much as I love Elle. I know that I will and that God will provide that love through me, beyond my understanding, but I cannot imagine. I'm almost afraid to. It feels like if I love another child as much as I love her, then I can't possibly love her like this. I don't want to stop loving her as much as I do, and I don't want to split that love. But, I am certain that God will not allow that and he will just give me more love to share. I don't know how it is possible, but if he can do it for the world, certainly I can do it for two children.

Don't get me wrong, I have always wanted several children, but this time of being pregnant is time for me to process through these feelings. I didn't expect to love Elle the way I do. In a way that I cannot even describe. In a way that I do not understand completely, myself. I look at her and I am overwhelmed by emotions and love (that could also be the hormones right now). I might just have a heart attack with all the emotions I'll have for 2.

I longed to be a mother my whole life. I let go of other dreams because the dream of motherhood was so much greater and I wouldn't trade it for the world. This is so much better than any other way I could have imagined my life turning out.

I longed to be a mother and loved the idea of it. Now that I am a mother, I love it even more.

Update on those New Year's resolutions...

I have started walking. This week will be my first full week (at least 5/7 days).

I have started playing my violin again.

I have stopped texting while I'm driving.

Obviously the first two have yet to become habits, but I'm one step closer.

everything you need to know about her first year!

That's how old she'll be tomorrow.

After a short and sweet 6 hr labor she arrived at 3:30 pm March 28, 2010.

She rolled over, started getting teeth, and started eating solids at 4 months

She sat up on her own at 6 months

She crawled and started talking around 7 months

She started walking at 9.5 months

She is now 12 months old, and so much FUN! The girl has personality, a strong will, and such a sweet heart!

It is amazing that a newborn who can't do anything on her own has become an independent girl in 365 days. That's all it took. 365 days.

What a beautiful blessing she has been.

She loves baby dolls, Elmo, and climbing into chairs.

She likes her green beans mixed in with yogurt and her favorite vegetable is sweet potatoes. She also loves puffs and really anything that is sweet (she gets that from her mommy).

She loves to take baths and hates to wear shoes. She falls asleep with her "baby" which is any stuffed animal that has a face.

She says dada, mama, papa, mamie, jojo, bay (for blake), yi-yie (for reilly), augie, elmo, baby, and her favorite...key (for kitty). Oh yes, she also says peas and tatu.She's gonna talk our ears off.

She really loves her daddy...and this picture frame (with pic of her and her daddy) holds a special place in her heart.

She does not like to share and if you try to take something from her she says "NO". Which is cute, but not so cute. How do you teach a 1 year old not to say "no"?

She loves these two...bff's.

It's been an eventful year, but I have a feeling the next one will be even more eventful!

Being her mom is still the best job in the world!

Facebook saved her life...

Okay that's a bit of an exaggeration, but it did help save her.

Let's just say I'm not going to get Mother of the Year for 2011.

For those of you who haven't heard...I locked my child in the car with my keys and phone.

Back in the "ol days" I would have just used my house phone to call 911, but these days, my cell phone is my house phone.

So, I got on facebook and messaged a friend because I know she gets text messages when someone messages her and I didn't want it on her wall for all the world to see...just yet. Thank God, she messaged back and came over.

Once she got to the house she called 9-1-1 and our brave Wylie firemen came to my rescue.

Yes, they laughed at me! Yes, they know my husband has applied for a part time position for WFD! And, yes, they know my BIL is Blake. Sorry guys! Fortunately for the both of you it was a B shift so you will probably never see them. At least any damage done to you will be minimal :-)

If you were worried about Elle, don't. She was fine. All settled in to her car seat, kicked back, watching Baby Einstein. Every time I looked in on her she would laugh. Pretty sure she thought it was a game. Thank God!

The firemen were able to get the door open and once again we were on our way.

Thank you God for the humiliation and reminding me that I cannot do this mothering thing alone. I definitely need this village of mine to help me!

Thank you Brittney for being an iPhone junkie. Thank you for Wylie Fire Department for breaking into my car without breaking my car. And, Thank you Elle for being the best baby ever!

Nursing School

I'm waiting. Waiting for the letter in the mail that says "We regret to inform you..." or "We are excited to tell you...".

Either way, my life changes drastically.

If I get accepted, I will start a 15 month journey of nonstop school. If I don't get accepted, I have to make more decisions. Decisions about career, motherhood, and my future.

If I get accepted, that's it. I will be a nurse. If I don't. That's it. I won't be a nurse...at least not anytime soon.

So, I wait. Eagerly. Patiently. I wait.

I want to get it. There, I said it. I want this. I desperately want it.

It is hard for me to admit I want it because then if I don't get it, I have to admit that my world is crushed. I have to admit defeat and all of the emotions that come with it.

I'd rather no one knew I want it because then I can hide those emotions from the world.

The problem is, I need to tell you. I need to let the world know I WANT THIS!!! This desire is building up inside and I need someone else to wait with me. I'm not sure how long the wait is, but I'll let you know when I find out.