Indescribable

This is the only word I can come up with to describe how I feel about being a mother. It's overwhelming, in an amazing way. She is a wonderful blessing and I feel so undeserving of her love, but am so honored that God has entrusted me with her life.

the day my life changed forever

March 28, 2010. The birth of my sweet baby girl. Elizabeth Reilly.



Weighing in at 7 lbs. 11 oz. 20.5 inches tall

This is my story....

It really starts March 7, 2010. I got up, got ready for church, started having contractions, but went to church anyway. The contractions were very mild, and I didn't want to get too excited. Also, I had a baby shower that day. So, I went about my day.


After my shower, my contractions started getting closer together. Starting at 15 minutes apart, they were now 6 minutes apart. I decided to try to take a bath and see if they got closer, or if they went away. They moved to 5 minutes apart. I decided I should probably go home (I took a bath at a friends house), and take a nap. It's like 8:00ish by this time. I called my mom to let her know what was going on, and she headed to my house. We took a walk around the block and then laid down for a nap. I woke up about 11:30 and my contractions were 3 minutes apart.

At this point, we decided it was time to go to the hospital. Although, the contractions felt to easy to be the real thing. I should have known then. I got to the hospital and was only dilated a 2 and my contractions stopped altogether. Went back home.

For the next 3 weeks, I had contractions off and on hoping they would turn in to the real thing. They never did. Until that Sunday morning.

3/28/10 9:15 am: I am getting ready for church and have this contraction that hurt more than anything I have ever felt in my life. I was still unsure about it being the real thing. I didn't want to get my hopes up after 3 weeks of nothing. So, I continued to get ready for church. I had another one a few minutes later (wasn't really paying attention to exact time). I decided this must be the real thing b/c these contractions HURT! I told Scott I thought I was in labor, but I still wanted to go to church in case they stopped. So, we loaded up in the car, Scott went to get donuts, and we headed to church. In the 15 minutes it took us to do all this I had 3 more contractions. I decided we needed to turn around and go home.

I called my mom (who was saving us seats at church), to let her know she needed to come now. My contractions started at 5 minutes apart. CRAZY! My mom got to my house (with my dad) and my contractions were INTENSE. She had to call my midwife to let her know we were definitely in labor. I went to the bathroom (b/c that's what they tell you to do) and I came out to my mom telling me we needed to go to the hospital. Aliza said so. At this point I couldn't move without another contraction starting and I didn't want to move. I made it to the car and felt like I had one long contraction ALL the way to the hospital. I prayed for a break the entire way to the hospital. I never got one.

I went straight up to L & D and the nurses got me all settled in. They checked to see how much I was dilated and hooked me up to the monitor to check the baby. I was dilated to a 4-5 and they said that was great. I didn't feel so great. I thought I should be dilated way more for the pain I was in. They assured me I was doing a great job and progressing fast. They told me I could get in the bath after they monitored the baby for 30 minutes. 10 minutes later they decided to let me get in the tub b/c they thought it would help with the pain.

I don't really remember how long I was in the tub, but it couldn't have been longer than 30 minutes. The contractions were so intense I couldn't take it anymore. I decided for the epidural. I debated with the nurses for probably 10 minutes before I finally decided to do it. They called the anesthesiologist to come do the epidural.

Side note: the entire time I was in the tub, I felt like I needed to push, but I was just checked and at a 4-5. I didn't really think it could be time. I was wrong.

30 minutes after I got out of the tub, the anesthesiologist finally showed up and did the epidural. Aliza showed up right before that and once the meds kicked in, she checked to see how I had progressed. I was at a 10. I could have been pushing the whole time. Probably could have done the entire thing naturally like I wanted, but had no idea I was that far along. At first I was kind of frustrated that I had given in to the meds, but later realized I don't regret it at all.

Aliza told me it would be best to let her "labor down" so that I wouldn't have to push as much. 20 minutes or so later, she comes back and it was time. I think I pushed for maybe 30 minutes. The girl was ready. I did have to get an episiotomy b/c her heart rate dropped to 30 and we had to get her out, but she came out FAST!

3:31 Elizabeth Reilly plopped her way into the world. Not breathing. Talk about scary. They called the Neonatal Nurse Practitioner in to get her breathing. It didn't take long, but was the scariest 2-3 minutes of my life. Aliza spanked her for me later. Also, she was pooping like crazy. Her Daddy's first words to her were "you sure are full of shit". Poor girl. She was just in shock.

It wasn't over yet. I'll spare all the dirty details, but it took Aliza 30 minutes to get my placenta out. She literally had her hand elbow deep inside of me trying to get it out. When she pulled it out she said "it just looks ancient". It didn't even look like a placenta. This part is the reason I am so grateful I got the epidural. Even with the meds, this was the most painful part. I can't imagine what it would have felt like if I didn't have paid meds.

6 hrs. total. It happened so fast, I barely remember the details. I didn't have time to stop and use all the techniques I learned in my Bradley class. I never got a break from contractions. It defintely didn't go as planned. But, in the end, I had a beautiful baby girl to hold and cuddle with. Nothing mattered after that. Words cannot describe how I felt. Literally. I have yet to figure out how to describe how I feel about being a mom, or this little girl. My world has changed. In one single day (really just a few hours), my life is completely different.




So, here I am. Trying to figure out how to be a mom...

Step 1: meet the parents

Alright, I kind of took a long break from writing my story. It continues...

My dad had a dream on Tuesday of the week we went into foster care, that he was going to adopt two little girls. At this point he didn't really know what it meant, but he knew it was different than any other dream he'd ever had. that weekend he got a call from a lady that used to work with him, Martha. Martha was the cousin of Mary, my foster mom. She hadn't talked to my parents in 3 years, but knew they had been trying to have kids, and felt the need to call them. She called to see if they had been able to have kids or if they were still trying. My parents had just recently gone to the Doctor to find out they couldn't have kids the "normal" way. They started discussing other options and were considering in vitro. When Martha called to tell my dad about two little girls that her cousin just got through foster care, he realized they went to church with extended family of my foster parents and had actually played basketball with my foster dad the previous fall.

My dad discussed it with my mom and she didn't even think twice before agreeing to meet us. When most women might have thought they wanted to try and have their own kids first, my mom didn't have a second thought. This miracle is two fold b/c remember my sister and I were 4 & 9 months at this point. When most people think of adoption they think of babies. My parents knew I was older and we came as a package. They were okay with that. Thank you God. The other part is that at one point CPS wanted to give us back to our birth parents. My foster mom had even given them beds for us. CPS was literally taking us back to their home and they had packed up and left. My mom always wonders if they knew we'd be better off with someone else. I'm just grateful God had a better plan for us.


I don't remember the first time I met my parents, but I have pictures and they tell me stories. I was so excited to meet them, I was waiting by the front door when they arrived. I was so desperate to feel loved that before they could even make it to the door I ran out and literally jumped into my Daddy's arms. It was love at first sight.

We spent some time getting to know them, and, according to my parents, they knew then that it was right. So, the process began.

My parents began the classes and the two year journey to becoming parents (and, I think 9 mos is a long time to wait). It was an emotional roller coaster for them, but one that had a happy ending.

At this point my parents knew we were theirs, but they had to take some classes and go through some evaluations before they could become our legal parents. During this time, the "community group" my parents were a part of at their church, held many prayer sessions petitioning God on our behalf. After going through most of the process they were told by our first case worker that they were the couple chosen to be our parents. Come to find out that case worker spoke before she was supposed to and so CPS told my parents the process had to start from the beginning and they were no longer in the running to get us. Heartbreak. Can you imagine. I can only equate this to what might be a miscarriage for women who are able to get pregnant. Obviously, this is not true physically, but emotionally it must have been terrible. Well, God had more to say about that. Shortly after my dad got a call that they lost our file and had to start completely over. My parents were back in the game, this time against twice as many couples.

IT'S A GIRL!

Oh blog how I've missed you :-)

November 6, 2009 - the day that our dear friend August Dae Runnels came into this world.

Also, the day my world was rocked. I was convinced I was having a boy. I just knew the sonographer was going to look at his little privates and say "you're having a boy". Oh how wrong I was.

It took a total of 30 seconds for her to show us her parts, but we now know that we are having an Elizabeth Reilly. I literally sat up a little and said "What, it's a girl". In shock I laid there as we watched the sonogropher find all her organs and make sure her kidneys were working. It was unbelievable.

Knowing the gender creates a bond beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I love being able to call her by her name and play with her as she kicks me. Part of me never wants her to come out. I love that it's just me and her. She is my little secret.

Of course, I still cannot wait to meet her, but I am really hoping to enjoy the next 4 months of just me and her. It's crazy. I am 5 months today. Wow, 5 months have flown by fast. I look at little August and think about how it just seems like yesterday Mindie was telling me she was pregnant.

My favorite part about knowing the gender is to see Scott's reaction. He didn't really react when we got the sonogram, but I've seen a side of him I've never seen before. Scott has never been one to "want" to hold a baby, especially a newborn. He's kind of always had the mentality of his father. That is, they don't do anything when they are that little, so what is the point.

Ever since he's known we are having a girl, he wants to hold August and Eve as much as possible. He wanted to go to the hospital to see August more than I did (which is a lot b/c I really wanted to see her).

Oh, and my dad has been so funny too. He recently fulfilled his life long dream of having a Harley, and he is determined that Elle is going to be a Harley chick. He has already bought her several pink Harley things. He even bought her this really cute leather jacket for when she is 3. haha. She already has her daddy and Grandpas wrapped around her little fingers.

"Every Daddy needs a little girl...and so does every grandpa" :-)

pregnancy update

Well, the first trimester is over. How time flies, but hopefully this means my energy is back and I will have more time to do the things I loved before, like blog.

I am 15 weeks 5 days. My baby looked like an alien when I got a sonogram, and he/she was soooo cute. I am loving pregnancy so far. I love the joy of knowing in a few months I will have one cute baby of my own.

Sometimes I get scared, like when I am dog tired and I realize after the baby is here that's how I'll feel all the time. But, really so far that is the only thing that scares me. I just can't wait for him/her to be here.

I am most excited to see the look on my husband's face when he gets to hold him/her for the first time. I can't wait to see what this baby looks like. All the possibilities, it's so hard to imagine. Will he have blonde hair, or maybe even red hair?? Will he have blue eyes or green eyes? Will his hair be curly or straight? I assume it's a boy, but will it be a boy or girl?

It's so amazing that there is this human that is a part of me. this human that will grow for the next few months and form a bond with me. this human that is already loved so much by so many and we've never even seen him/her. God is so amazing.

Scittle!

So if you haven't heard....Scott and I are going to be parents. That's right....parents. Crazy, huh???

Well we were trying to get pregnant and now God has blessed us with a little energy hog! This baby needs the energy I guess, but boy am I exhausted. I guess it didn't help that I got a cold the day after I found out I was pregnant. :-)

So, I actually didn't know I was pregnant, and at first didn't think there was a chance, but Saturday I started to wonder. Friday night I was really hungry and feeling kind of nausuas, but thought it was just b/c I was hungry. Then later friday night I was at walmart with Scott & Reilly and I started craving pickles after smelling them...yummy! At this point Reilly was joking that I was pregnant. She didn't even know we were trying.

Saturday day came and that dreadful time of the month was supposed ot come with it. I waited and waited and waited and it never came. On top of that I kept smelling these realy awful things that made me gag, but no one else was smelling them. Later, when I asked my mom if she suspected something, she said "no, I actually thought you might be having neurological problems". hahaha.

So, Saturday I left my parents at about 8:00 pm and stopped at Target to get cat litter (which I can't change now) and pregnancy tests. Weird combination, but I thought what the heck lets take one just in case. I honestly did not think it would be positive. I got home about 9:00 and took the test right away cuz I had to pee really bad. I peed in a cup just in case that dreadful time of the month decided to show up right then. I stuck the stick in, counted to 20 and turned it around. OMG. There it was. The line. I am pregnant. I cried. Poored the cup out (before I could take a 2nd test). Ran around screaming and crying for no one but Sadie, Duchess, and Patch (who obviously did not care at all). I got dressed again (let's face it, I was already in my pj's), took off to Best Buy so that Scott and I could celebrate together and tell my parents. I told his mom on my way there.

We told my parents and my mom was literally speechless, but both were excited! My mom cried, and cried, and is probably still crying. lol. We proceeded to tell more family and friends and will probably continue to spread the news for the next few weeks! So exciting and we are so BLESSED!!!

So, Scittle = Scott + Britt + Little :-) You can think my aunt for that one!

p.s. Skittles are scott's favorite candy!

Today at lunch!

I went to lunch with my Dad today. We went to Dickey's.

As we were talking I felt something wet drop on my neck. I looked up expecting to see something dripping from the ceiling, but instead I heard a guy behind me apologizing.

He squeezed a jalapeno and it squirted on me! After a good laugh we continued our lunch and joking about it.

It was fantastic since my morning wasn't as funny :-)