A co-worker, and friend, kindly reminded me today that I had not blogged in a while. I've thought about blogging, but I feel like my blogs lately have been kind of negative. I don't want to be seen as a negative person b/c generally I'm not. I feel like God is molding me lately and I'm not feeling generally positive. I know God has the perfect plan and I guess am CONSTANTLY having to remind myself of this, but even having that feeling of security in him does not make it easier for me to be positive because I know that what God had planned for me may not be what I want. And, the journey will most likely not be an easy one...trusting is hard for me. I know I need to change my attitude...actually doing it is a harder story. Anyway, this is the type of blog I wanted to avoid. I'm not doing well. Need prayers. End of story.
Good news! Scott and I are getting to go on a vacation! End of January. Can't wait.
Also, while all of my co-workers are starting classes again, I can enjoy the freedom of not having too! It feels very weird to not be in school....very weird. I've been in school the last 17 years of my life and now I'm not.
Furthermore, I have not had any simple or refined sugar for 1.5 weeks now. I want a cookie really bad, but I feel a lot better. Basically, my body produces too much insulin. Simple sugars don't take long for the insulin to break down causing a fast fall in blood sugar levels. When this happens I get this feeling that is really hard for me to describe. Just imagine that every single nerve in your body was SUPER sensitive. Every noise, touch, light, or anything that stimulates sensory nerves makes me very irritable. It's kind of hard to explain b/c it's not a feeling that most people feel. It's not a normal feeling of irritability. It's not something I can control with my attitude. It is physical. Anyway, as long as I'm eating complex sugars and carbohydrates, it takes longer for the insulin to break it down. So far so good. I can still have fruits and other natural sugars, but if there is sugar added to something...it's no bueno. Eventually I will reintroduce yummy treats into my diet in very strict moderation. It seems this has become a life changing decision for me. A good one though.
1 comment:
I totally feel for the first half of your post. It's so hard to be positive when God is working on us. We used to sing a song in choir about being a vessel in God's hands. Sometimes he has to break the vessel to start molding it again. It can hurt and be frustrating, but just have hope that this is only a time, and he will see you through.
And about the sugar, I wonder if that's my problem too. I'm going to try it.
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